为了演讲活动的顺利开展，我们首先要学会将演讲稿写好，通过写演讲稿，我们能促进自己演讲的规律研究，下面是顺风文档网小编为您分享的搞笑的幽默演讲稿8篇，感谢您的参阅。
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇1
good afternoon ，ladies and gentlemen!
i’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! to begin with ,i want to ask a question .does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you. of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.
everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners(水手),we can chart our course by them. with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.
i have a dream: to be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. may let the human change the health. at the same time, i believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. therefore, i hoped in the near future ,i might be a doctor.
but i know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead .
young!fortunately, i am young now. just due to it, i know that nothing is impossible.i firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. if i can't realize my dream,it result from that i haven't work harder enough and i won't find other excuses. if no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. if you think the god haven't blessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth.
"my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains." at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements. each achievement results from my hard work. i always believe that "if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder." in some extent, the dream is the hope. if you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.
hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. let's--- move ----out!
thank you for your listening!
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇2
尊敬的老师，亲爱的.同学们：
大家好!我叫丁蕴灵，是四年一班的班长。今天我有幸站在这个庄严的演讲
台上，全离不开老师和同学们的支持和鼓励，在此我表示由衷的感谢。
今天，我竞选的职务是学校大队委员。
从一年级开始，我一直担任班长这个职位，不但尽心尽责地带领同学们严格遵守学校的各项规章制度，而且积极为班级献计献策。同学有困难，我主动去帮助，同学有什么不懂的地方来找我，我都乐意为他们解决。平时，我尊敬师长，关心班级里的每一件事。同时，我严于律己，积极参加学校组织的每一项集体活动，为班级争光。
我在学习上严格要求自己，年年被评为学校三好生，今年夏天，我还光荣地被学校评为“区三好学生“和“双十佳少先队员”。此外，我还积极参加校外各种竞赛：曾荣获过小学生区作文竟赛一等奖、首届小学生素质教育大赛英语童谣一等奖、少儿绘画二等奖、硬笔书法三等奖。第五届“希望之星”硬笔书法大赛二等奖、第十二届“春芽杯”少儿书画硬书类二等奖、第五届鼓楼区青少年科技创新大赛三等奖、第二十届双龙杯全国少儿书画大赛三等奖、和平杯国际青少年美术书法摄影大奖赛铜奖等多种奖项。
我是个爱好广泛的女孩，在课余时间里，我喜欢画画、弹琴、溜冰、乒乓球、游泳、看书等等，这些课余生活不但没有影响我的学习，反而让我增长了不少见识，增添了许多乐趣。
既然是花，就要开放;既然是树，就要长成栋梁;既然是石头，就要铺路。同学们，如果我竞选上了，我一定会再接再厉，虚心请教，如果我落选了，我也不会气馁，这说明我做得还不够。我想通过这次竞选活动来证实自己的实力，给自己一个锻炼的平台。因为，不想当元帅的兵不是好士兵，说到不如做到，要做就做得最好，如果同学们支持我到大队部工作，我会珍惜这个机会，虚心听取大家的意见，让我们学校成为一个快乐的大家庭。
请大家支持我，相信我，投给我宝贵的一票吧!
谢谢大家!
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇3
亲爱的同学们：
你们好!
锋利的剑缺少不了打磨，成功的人缺少不了竞争。
今天，我走上这个台上唯一目的就是竞选“班级元首”——班长。
虽然许多人对班长的职位虎视眈眈，但是我相信自己能胜任这个职位。
我不敢大胆表现自己，这是劣势，不过因为我没有当过班长，我会更加珍惜这个机会，为班级服务。
班长要有责任心、乐于帮助同学，为同学服务，是老师与同学之间的一座桥梁。
当好老师的小助手搞好班级工作，积极向老师反映同学们的想法。
假如我当了班长，我会努力提高自身素质，以优秀的成绩来回报老师和同学的关心。
假如我当了班长，我会尽力协助老师，帮助同学克服困难，为同学服务，用行为赢得大家对我的信任。
假如我当了班长，我会珍惜这个机会，虚心听取同学们的意见，开展丰富多彩的课外生活。
假如我当了班长，我会为同学们营造一个“读书角”提请大家读书的兴趣。
不想当元帅的士兵不是好士兵，假如我当了班长，一定会让大家参加和以前不一样的活动，使同学们的学习、生活不再枯燥。
既然是山，我就要坚定不移；既然是浪，我就要有前进的方向；既然是阳光，我就要普照大地；既然是班长，我就要成为老师和同学的桥梁。
谢谢大家!
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇4
尊敬的各位领导、各位评委：
生命是美好的，更是幸福的，但前提是必须有安全的呵护。没有安全，生命得不到保障，幸福又在哪里呢?我们需要责任，我们选择安全!
今天我演讲的题目是：安全与责任。
安全是个永恒的话题，安全是什么?对于我们来讲，安全就是立足本职，尽忠尽责。责任是什么?责任是一种使命、一种义务、更是一种力量。在隐患危及安全的关键时刻，它激励我们在危难面前挺身而出，用行动去阻止事故的发生。
关注安全，关爱生命，要从我们工友们的日常生活和日常工作中的点点滴滴做起，无论我们在干着什么，心中都要时刻想着安全，心中都要时刻注意着安全，任何时候都要遵章守纪，按章作业，牢记安全第一，真正做到不伤害自己，不伤害他人，不被他人伤害。只有把安全“印”在心中，加强我们的安全职责。把安全生产工作切实落到实处，从身边的小事抓起，把一切隐患消灭在萌芽状态。每出一个事故，都能总结一二三条教训，日积月累，就成了我们的规章。换一种说法，血的教训换来了我们的规章制度，我们靠规章制度来保证我们的安全。
企业有着很完善的安规制度，我们不缺少各类管理制度，缺少的是精益求精的执行者，安全才有保障。安全不仅仅是制度，它更需要我们每一个人强化安全意识，增强责任心。
责任心是做好安全工作的前提。有一句话说得好，“在本位，尽本分”，这应该是每个人对自己工作最基本的要求。要想把安全工作做好，提高责任心是至关重要的，责任心是工作无差错的重要保证。如果一个人没有了责任心，那么再安全的岗位也会出现险情。拥有强烈的责任心，再大的安全隐患也可以处理。如果责任心差，那么很小的问题也可能酿成大祸。无差错是我们工作的重中之重。
安全工作是一项复杂的系统工程，需要全员动手，综合治理，常抓不懈，只要我们真正把安全装在我们心中，强化安全意识，增强安全责任心，安全生产才不受威胁，安全才有保障，生命才会美丽。
有了对安全的责任心，就有了做好工作的动力，做起工作来就会积极、主动、用心。没有对安全的责任，就不敢承担责任，必然造成工作上敷衍了事、庸碌无为，麻痹大意。由此可见，工作有难易之分，能力有高低之别，但关键的还是责任心。无论做什么事情，都要记住自己的责任，无论在什么样的工作岗位，都要对自己的工作负责。
责任是安全生产赖以生存的源源动力;因为有责任，我们才足以从微小的细节中发现事故的隐患;因为有责任，我们才可以从不断变换的安全问题上积累进步的经验。安全生产需要我们的责任，安全生产更加依靠我们的责任。
我们需要责任，我们选择安全!前车之鉴，后事之师。
在安全问题上，我们必须警钟长鸣，肩负起责任使命。在生活中，安全是把双刃剑，你遵守它的规则，他就会保护你，违背它的规则，你就会付出血的代价。安全生产是我们工作的基石，更是我们生活的保障。许多时候，像“安全生产、预防为主”等不少警句我们往往耳熟能详，但我们需要的并不仅仅是口号和形式，更重要的是把慎密的思想落实到严谨的行为中，谨于思、慎于行，才是我们做好安全工作的根本。
安全是春天里的花朵，美丽但需要呵护;安全是生活中的一抹抹阳光，明媚而温暖。
“安全第一、警钟长鸣”，只有抓住安全，我们的企业才能蒸蒸日上，兴旺发达;只有守着安全，我们的千种累，万种苦，才能结出美丽的硕果。
让我们共同努力，践行责任，保障安全。安全责任永远在我心中!
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇5
good afternoon!
recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive exceptional education at extraordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country?
the cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation, which would cringe at the slightest discomfort. but the cynics are wrong. the college students i see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. we help each other clean the dormitory, go shopping and bargain together, and take part time jobs to supplement our pocket money.
the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.
as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still inexperienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future.
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇6
once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”
right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speeches and answering tough questions, i am here today. from all that i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on a forgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇7
老师们，同学们：
大家早上好!
本周三就是一年一度的“六一”国际儿童节了。55年前，国际民主妇女联合会为保障全世界儿童的生存权力、保健权力和受教育的权力，于1949年11月在莫斯科召开的一次大会上决定每年六月一日为国际儿童节。1949年12月23日，中国政府也规定六月一日为儿童节。于是，全世界的儿童就拥有了一个属于自己的节日——“六一”国际儿童节。
同学们，“六一”是你们最快乐的节日，“六一”也是你们最高兴的日子。因为： 你们是家庭的宝贝，更是家庭的希望。你们能够快乐地成长，家庭就充满欢歌与笑语。你们是学校的孩子，更是学校的希望。你们能够全面地发展，学校就充满生机与活力。你们是社会的未来，更是社会的希望。你们能够和谐地发展，社会就充满热情与友爱。你们是祖国的花朵，更是祖国的希望。你们能够茁壮地成长，祖国就充满美好与希望。
同学们，许多人把我们少年儿童比作“祖国的花朵”、“祖国的未来”。这除了赞美我们天真、活泼、可爱之外，还另有很深的意义，那就是希望我们在祖国这个大花园里，迎着明媚的春光茁壮成长，像花朵一样竞相开放，把祖国装点得更加绚丽多彩!这就是说，未来是属于我们的，我们要从小打好基础，培养良好的思想品德。我们要刻苦学习文化知识，争取德、智、体、美、劳全面发展。成为社会的有用之材，为祖国、为人民做出更多的贡献!
同学们，我们的任务是光荣而艰巨的。让我们携起手来，勇敢肩负起历史的重担，迎接欢乐的六一，迎接美好的明天!
搞笑的幽默演讲稿篇8
各位同学：
你们好!
今天我站出来竞选班长，心情非常的激动，说实话也还有一点害羞。激动的原因是如果我能顺利当选，那我今后就可以团结好全班同学，带领我们的班级进入优秀班集体行列，有点害羞呢，因为还从来都没当过班长呢，同学们会相信我能当好班长吗?我想，只要我时刻为班级着想，为别的同学着想，一定能当好班长的。
如果我被选上了班长，我一定会努力学习，用优秀的成绩来带动同学们的学习热忱，并经常在班上组织学习竞赛活动，让表现优秀的同学推广他们的学习经验，让我们班的每一个同学都取得学习上的进步。
如果我被选上了班长，我一定会以身作责，当老师不在课堂上的时候，我一定带头让同学们遵守课堂纪律，对个别不遵守纪律的同学，我会尽量说服他们，让他们知道作为班级的一员，要自觉的遵守纪律，不能因为个人的行为损害到班集体的荣誉。 如果我被选上了班长，我一定会处处为班级着想，处处想着为班级争光，为班级谋利益。
我有许多优点：我自尊心强，也特别好强，只要有人哪里比我做得好，我一定会主动学习他的长处。我也有许多缺点：胆子比较小，有时候还有点害羞，我一定会想办法改正这些不足之处。请各位投我一票，我一定会做一名合格的班长。
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